It is never too late to go on an adventure

You may feel like you’re stuck in life but it isn't too late to make a change

Two years ago I was on the fast track of growth within my company. I was going on my fifth year of being the service manager at our restaurant and my next goal was to be a managing partner/owner. This restaurant was all I had ever known. I absolutely loved this company and everything it stood for and did for me as a person. But something had happened just 2 years prior that would affect how I would be feeling at this moment. That was the birth of my daughter, Everly. 

As she was getting older the realization of her going to school was beginning to sink in. Before school, I had unlimited time with my daughter. I mainly worked nights so while my wife was working, Everly and I had all the time in the world with each other; school would change all this. “When would I see my daughter if I worked nights and weekends?” is the thought that kept running through my mind. I went weeks struggling to sleep and focus. On my way to the gym one morning I heard a Les Brown motivational clip and I had an epiphany, an ‘A-Ha’ moment! I was going to quit my job.

I got home, spoke to my wife and explained to her how I was feeling, and although she was reluctant to job on board with me, because this restaurant was our security blanket, she eventually understood that I was making this decision for the betterment of our family and not to the detriment of it. I went to work the very next day, and without having a new job or something stable in place, I gave my boss my notice. 

You see, going through with the decision was the easiest part of what I did. Not accepting it and struggling with what to do is what kept me awake every night. The fear of what will happen and the fear of the unknown made me restless and anxious, and even though I didn’t have a new job yet, I was able to sleep again because leaving that company was the action that needed to be taken. 

“These were their truths, not mine”

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A week later I decided I was going to go back to school. Although I had lots of critics, including one friend who even told me “Man you and I are at an age that this is what we’re gonna do for the rest of our lives” I didn’t listen. These were their truths, not mine. A month later I applied for and was accepted into the University of Northern Colorado. And although I was never great at traditional school, and had been out of school for 8 years, as I write this I am just a few days away from being completely done with my undergrad and graduating with honors.

I didn’t wait for the perfect moment to make the decision of quitting my job. For many, the perfect moment would have been having something else lined up before asking their boss to seek their replacement. I envisioned Bilbo Baggins running through the shire shouting “I’m going on an adventure!”.  

There will never be a perfect moment to go on an adventure. Take the adventure today. 

 

My blogging journey... so far

What I think of this journey so far is that it that has been a way for me to articulate the thoughts that run through my head; It’s therapeutic and constructive. There isn't one bad thing I can say about beginning this journey. It has helped me grow as a writer and as a person. If there's anything that worries me about the future of my blog, it’s that people can be cruel and nasty, and although this class has shown nothing but positivity and kindness when it comes to the comments they’ve left on my post, I don’t know that that will always be the case for the strangers that may eventually land on The Full-Time Stu-Dad. 

I think I already alluded to this, but once this class ends I do intend to keep writing on my blog. I never had a strong father figure growing up, so I know just how imperative it is to have good mentors. My hope would be that at least one person will find my blog and be able to apply something from here into their lives. 

Blogging is a great way to tell stories because it gives us a chance to write the same way we talk. It doesn’t feel so burdensome and forced. It’s a way to write organically and naturally. There’s nothing that I really wish I would have known before I took this class, but I can say I wish I would have known about this class before I did, so I could have started this journey sooner. 

Fulfilling is how I would describe what it feels like to have finally started my own blog. I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s that I found a love for writing two years ago that I didn’t know ever existed. I’m thankful that I’ve finally found a way to capitalize on that love and utilize it to help others. 

Don't let bad moments become bad days

We all have moments of disdain but they don't have to dictate our day

Hey, I get it; I’ve been there before. You wake up late, you spill your Starbucks coffee on your lap, or you check your Facebook feed and see another political post from an acquaintance whose views are very contradicting to your own. It can make for a really bad start to your morning. But should that be what characterizes your day? Absolutely not!

Bad things are going to happen to you! That’s life. But like my old buddy Rafiki once said “you can either run from it or... learn from it”. Those were not just empty words from a baboon. There is a lot of wisdom behind those words. It’s not what happens to you that should define your day, but it’s how you react to those moments of adversity that determines what kind of day you’re going to have and what kind of person you’re going to be. It’s the reason we’re asked if the glass is half full or empty, right? Because our perception is reality. If we think it’s going to be a bad day, then chances are we’re going to be right. 

“Make your Bed”

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So some advice for you who want to start the day off right. Wake up and take a moment to envision what you’re going to make your day look like. Don’t get on social media first thing, I assure you you will feel so much more ready for the day if you don’t. Make your bed! I know that sounds so meager but I promise you getting into good habits with how you start off your day will make you feel more proud and accomplished. Text good morning to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while, and if you forget to do any of these things, it’s alright; Keep a smile on your face. Studies have shown that by keeping a smile on your face you can actually convince yourself that you are happy.

If nothing else, don't forget to ask the barista to make sure the lid is extra tight on your coffee! 

Cheers!

When you can't get away, game-away!

Video games can be a way for many to escape from the strifes of everyday life 

Many have recently gotten a chance to learn this the hard way, and it’s that video games can also be a way to get away! I was fortunate enough to have figured this out at a very young age, and I say fortunate because I know there are plenty of people who had two spend a pretty penny for a new game system, with them being limited in supply during this pandemic. Lucky for me I already had 3 game systems in my home so the quarantine wasn’t so bad.

If you don’t have the funds to be able to take a vacation, video games can be a way to do just that! Sometimes riding your horse over the horizon and seeing the sunset in a game like The Witcher 3 can be just as satisfying as seeing the real thing. Do you miss gardening/farming, but your back has been too painful to do so right now? Then pick up a Harvest Moon game and get that chore done, pain-free. I would be at a beach right now somewhere and just be lounging about; Of course, traveling is limited right now, so instead, I’ve settled for making my own bar and lounging on the beach in Animal Crossing. 

My point is that video games are another way for you to get away from the burdens of everyday life. They’re a way to immerse yourself in a different world and maybe even meet some new friends online while doing so. Give video games a try if traveling is not an option for you right now, and if you haven’t had a chance to read my “Benefits of Vacations” post yet, I encourage you to do so.

Some Vacation Ideas

If you haven’t had a chance to read my last post I strongly encourage you to do so. I will highlight once more though, that taking trips and getting away is crucial for your well-being.

I know that right now we’re somewhat limited in our options. Some airlines aren’t even flying to certain destinations, but don’t let that stop you. There are still plenty of destinations you can head to without having to suffer the headaches of getting on a plane right now. Right here in Colorado, you can stay at the Stanley Hotel for a night; which is the place that Inspired Steven King to write The Shining. Or you can head on down to Grand Lake and get some fishing and boating in; if that’s your thing. My point is there are plenty of local destinations you can head to if you need to get away. 

My favorite place to go every year is Mexico. My family and I like to go back and forth between Cancun and Puerto Vallarta. I’m not too certain you can fly down there just yet, but when they do open back up my favorite website to use is bookit.com. They have a great search engine and you can bundle your flight and hotel for a discount. The other cool arrangement they have is a no-interest payment program if you can’t afford to pay for your trip all at once and need to do it in monthly increments. 

So unplug, and take some time away. 

  

The Benefits of Vacations

Vacations are a MUST when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle

I can’t articulate well enough how high up traveling should be on your level of importance. Sometimes the complications of life can get so cumbersome that all that is left to do is run away! That’s exactly what I’m encouraging you to do!... At least for a while. Going on a vacation is integral for your well being. Vacations can help you relieve stress, they can help strengthen your relationships, and obviously, they’re a way to make lots of fun memories.

It is imperative that we unplug and get away from our desks for a while in order to distress. Sometimes just knowing that you have a vacation coming up can motivate you to work harder, study more, and be kinder to people. I rarely have bad days, and that’s not because I don’t deal with struggles just like everyone else, but I have such an optimistic outlook on life, in large part due to the fact that I always know I’ll be at a beach soon. 3 out of 4 Americans are stressed according to The American Psychological Association, so they encourage you to go on that trip, and they state that it will improve your job performance when you return, and my argument is that the anticipation of the trip will also improve your performance beforehand. 

Years back I met a girl (I know, there’s always “a girl” right?). Anyway, about a year into our relationship we decided that we wanted to take a trip together, and we did. The same day we talked about it we jumped online and started looking at different cruises. We finally found one that would fit within our server and host budget and we booked it! It was by far one of the best trips I’ve ever been on. Would you believe me if I told you that that same girl is now my wife? Well in a study done by the U.S. Travel Association, they found that couples who go on trips together are significantly more satisfied with each other than couples who don’t. My wife and I take at least one trip a year. I am not guaranteeing you that if you want to marry the person you’re dating right now then you better jump online and book a trip to the Bahamas, but I’m not, not, claiming that either. 

Vacations are also, simply put, fun! We all love doing fun stuff, and once again, when you have fun it can do an immense amount for your soul.  I take a trip with my friends every year. The goal is to watch an NFL game in a different stadium each year. The fun things we’ve got to do is try some exquisite food down in New Orleans, and we got to see a guy swim with an alligator! Be warned before you watch the video, it is not for the timid. These memories give us something to hold onto, and they help strengthen the bonds of our friendship. 

So, get away! Take some time for yourself. Grab your girlfriend or boyfriend or best friends and get out of the state for a week! Relax, enjoy yourself, eat too much, and drink the night away.

Go for a run when too much is running through your mind

Like many of you, I have gone through moments that are less than desirable. I’ve been through bad break-ups, I didn’t pass the test, I’ve lost a loved one or I had a bad fight with a friend. It’s tough to find equilibrium within yourself when these moments arise, but one thing I’ve found that does work for me when it comes to coping with these moments is going for a run.

I remember one summer when I just wasn’t feeling great about anything in life. I had just graduated high school and wasn’t sure if I was going to college, I was the heaviest I’d ever been, and I was in a less than ideal relationship. I was discouraged with where my life was heading, and I just didn’t feel confident about anything. So I started to run. There was a park that I enjoyed going to and I decided to just start jogging around it every day. In three months time, I lost 40 pounds, I got a job, and although my relationship was still shaky, I did end up applying for, and attending, Aims Community College.

“Everything felt lighter”

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When I was running I just felt free. It put my mind at ease, and I felt like I could breathe so much easier. My burdens no longer felt so heavy, in fact, everything felt lighter, and I assure you it will do the same for you. 

I strongly encourage that if you hate running, don’t do it on a treadmill; You’ll find yourself burning out fast by looking down and checking the timer every 2 minutes. Instead, the trick is to find a park you enjoy going to. A lot of these parks have the walkway path distance labeled. It’s a lot easier to go from point A to point B than it is to run stationary for 30 minutes. But at least try and set a goal for a certain distance, start at one mile and then gradually increase the miles each week. A great playlist on your smartphone can also do wonders for your mental state while you run! 

Give running a try if you’re finding yourself unsure of what your next step in life is; it should help you find some clarity.