It is never too late to go on an adventure

You may feel like you’re stuck in life but it isn't too late to make a change

Two years ago I was on the fast track of growth within my company. I was going on my fifth year of being the service manager at our restaurant and my next goal was to be a managing partner/owner. This restaurant was all I had ever known. I absolutely loved this company and everything it stood for and did for me as a person. But something had happened just 2 years prior that would affect how I would be feeling at this moment. That was the birth of my daughter, Everly. 

As she was getting older the realization of her going to school was beginning to sink in. Before school, I had unlimited time with my daughter. I mainly worked nights so while my wife was working, Everly and I had all the time in the world with each other; school would change all this. “When would I see my daughter if I worked nights and weekends?” is the thought that kept running through my mind. I went weeks struggling to sleep and focus. On my way to the gym one morning I heard a Les Brown motivational clip and I had an epiphany, an ‘A-Ha’ moment! I was going to quit my job.

I got home, spoke to my wife and explained to her how I was feeling, and although she was reluctant to job on board with me, because this restaurant was our security blanket, she eventually understood that I was making this decision for the betterment of our family and not to the detriment of it. I went to work the very next day, and without having a new job or something stable in place, I gave my boss my notice. 

You see, going through with the decision was the easiest part of what I did. Not accepting it and struggling with what to do is what kept me awake every night. The fear of what will happen and the fear of the unknown made me restless and anxious, and even though I didn’t have a new job yet, I was able to sleep again because leaving that company was the action that needed to be taken. 

“These were their truths, not mine”

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A week later I decided I was going to go back to school. Although I had lots of critics, including one friend who even told me “Man you and I are at an age that this is what we’re gonna do for the rest of our lives” I didn’t listen. These were their truths, not mine. A month later I applied for and was accepted into the University of Northern Colorado. And although I was never great at traditional school, and had been out of school for 8 years, as I write this I am just a few days away from being completely done with my undergrad and graduating with honors.

I didn’t wait for the perfect moment to make the decision of quitting my job. For many, the perfect moment would have been having something else lined up before asking their boss to seek their replacement. I envisioned Bilbo Baggins running through the shire shouting “I’m going on an adventure!”.  

There will never be a perfect moment to go on an adventure. Take the adventure today. 

 

My blogging journey... so far

What I think of this journey so far is that it that has been a way for me to articulate the thoughts that run through my head; It’s therapeutic and constructive. There isn't one bad thing I can say about beginning this journey. It has helped me grow as a writer and as a person. If there's anything that worries me about the future of my blog, it’s that people can be cruel and nasty, and although this class has shown nothing but positivity and kindness when it comes to the comments they’ve left on my post, I don’t know that that will always be the case for the strangers that may eventually land on The Full-Time Stu-Dad. 

I think I already alluded to this, but once this class ends I do intend to keep writing on my blog. I never had a strong father figure growing up, so I know just how imperative it is to have good mentors. My hope would be that at least one person will find my blog and be able to apply something from here into their lives. 

Blogging is a great way to tell stories because it gives us a chance to write the same way we talk. It doesn’t feel so burdensome and forced. It’s a way to write organically and naturally. There’s nothing that I really wish I would have known before I took this class, but I can say I wish I would have known about this class before I did, so I could have started this journey sooner. 

Fulfilling is how I would describe what it feels like to have finally started my own blog. I’ve mentioned this before, and it’s that I found a love for writing two years ago that I didn’t know ever existed. I’m thankful that I’ve finally found a way to capitalize on that love and utilize it to help others. 

Don't let bad moments become bad days

We all have moments of disdain but they don't have to dictate our day

Hey, I get it; I’ve been there before. You wake up late, you spill your Starbucks coffee on your lap, or you check your Facebook feed and see another political post from an acquaintance whose views are very contradicting to your own. It can make for a really bad start to your morning. But should that be what characterizes your day? Absolutely not!

Bad things are going to happen to you! That’s life. But like my old buddy Rafiki once said “you can either run from it or... learn from it”. Those were not just empty words from a baboon. There is a lot of wisdom behind those words. It’s not what happens to you that should define your day, but it’s how you react to those moments of adversity that determines what kind of day you’re going to have and what kind of person you’re going to be. It’s the reason we’re asked if the glass is half full or empty, right? Because our perception is reality. If we think it’s going to be a bad day, then chances are we’re going to be right. 

“Make your Bed”

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So some advice for you who want to start the day off right. Wake up and take a moment to envision what you’re going to make your day look like. Don’t get on social media first thing, I assure you you will feel so much more ready for the day if you don’t. Make your bed! I know that sounds so meager but I promise you getting into good habits with how you start off your day will make you feel more proud and accomplished. Text good morning to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while, and if you forget to do any of these things, it’s alright; Keep a smile on your face. Studies have shown that by keeping a smile on your face you can actually convince yourself that you are happy.

If nothing else, don't forget to ask the barista to make sure the lid is extra tight on your coffee! 

Cheers!

When you can't get away, game-away!

Video games can be a way for many to escape from the strifes of everyday life 

Many have recently gotten a chance to learn this the hard way, and it’s that video games can also be a way to get away! I was fortunate enough to have figured this out at a very young age, and I say fortunate because I know there are plenty of people who had two spend a pretty penny for a new game system, with them being limited in supply during this pandemic. Lucky for me I already had 3 game systems in my home so the quarantine wasn’t so bad.

If you don’t have the funds to be able to take a vacation, video games can be a way to do just that! Sometimes riding your horse over the horizon and seeing the sunset in a game like The Witcher 3 can be just as satisfying as seeing the real thing. Do you miss gardening/farming, but your back has been too painful to do so right now? Then pick up a Harvest Moon game and get that chore done, pain-free. I would be at a beach right now somewhere and just be lounging about; Of course, traveling is limited right now, so instead, I’ve settled for making my own bar and lounging on the beach in Animal Crossing. 

My point is that video games are another way for you to get away from the burdens of everyday life. They’re a way to immerse yourself in a different world and maybe even meet some new friends online while doing so. Give video games a try if traveling is not an option for you right now, and if you haven’t had a chance to read my “Benefits of Vacations” post yet, I encourage you to do so.

Some Vacation Ideas

If you haven’t had a chance to read my last post I strongly encourage you to do so. I will highlight once more though, that taking trips and getting away is crucial for your well-being.

I know that right now we’re somewhat limited in our options. Some airlines aren’t even flying to certain destinations, but don’t let that stop you. There are still plenty of destinations you can head to without having to suffer the headaches of getting on a plane right now. Right here in Colorado, you can stay at the Stanley Hotel for a night; which is the place that Inspired Steven King to write The Shining. Or you can head on down to Grand Lake and get some fishing and boating in; if that’s your thing. My point is there are plenty of local destinations you can head to if you need to get away. 

My favorite place to go every year is Mexico. My family and I like to go back and forth between Cancun and Puerto Vallarta. I’m not too certain you can fly down there just yet, but when they do open back up my favorite website to use is bookit.com. They have a great search engine and you can bundle your flight and hotel for a discount. The other cool arrangement they have is a no-interest payment program if you can’t afford to pay for your trip all at once and need to do it in monthly increments. 

So unplug, and take some time away. 

  

The Benefits of Vacations

Vacations are a MUST when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle

I can’t articulate well enough how high up traveling should be on your level of importance. Sometimes the complications of life can get so cumbersome that all that is left to do is run away! That’s exactly what I’m encouraging you to do!... At least for a while. Going on a vacation is integral for your well being. Vacations can help you relieve stress, they can help strengthen your relationships, and obviously, they’re a way to make lots of fun memories.

It is imperative that we unplug and get away from our desks for a while in order to distress. Sometimes just knowing that you have a vacation coming up can motivate you to work harder, study more, and be kinder to people. I rarely have bad days, and that’s not because I don’t deal with struggles just like everyone else, but I have such an optimistic outlook on life, in large part due to the fact that I always know I’ll be at a beach soon. 3 out of 4 Americans are stressed according to The American Psychological Association, so they encourage you to go on that trip, and they state that it will improve your job performance when you return, and my argument is that the anticipation of the trip will also improve your performance beforehand. 

Years back I met a girl (I know, there’s always “a girl” right?). Anyway, about a year into our relationship we decided that we wanted to take a trip together, and we did. The same day we talked about it we jumped online and started looking at different cruises. We finally found one that would fit within our server and host budget and we booked it! It was by far one of the best trips I’ve ever been on. Would you believe me if I told you that that same girl is now my wife? Well in a study done by the U.S. Travel Association, they found that couples who go on trips together are significantly more satisfied with each other than couples who don’t. My wife and I take at least one trip a year. I am not guaranteeing you that if you want to marry the person you’re dating right now then you better jump online and book a trip to the Bahamas, but I’m not, not, claiming that either. 

Vacations are also, simply put, fun! We all love doing fun stuff, and once again, when you have fun it can do an immense amount for your soul.  I take a trip with my friends every year. The goal is to watch an NFL game in a different stadium each year. The fun things we’ve got to do is try some exquisite food down in New Orleans, and we got to see a guy swim with an alligator! Be warned before you watch the video, it is not for the timid. These memories give us something to hold onto, and they help strengthen the bonds of our friendship. 

So, get away! Take some time for yourself. Grab your girlfriend or boyfriend or best friends and get out of the state for a week! Relax, enjoy yourself, eat too much, and drink the night away.

Go for a run when too much is running through your mind

Like many of you, I have gone through moments that are less than desirable. I’ve been through bad break-ups, I didn’t pass the test, I’ve lost a loved one or I had a bad fight with a friend. It’s tough to find equilibrium within yourself when these moments arise, but one thing I’ve found that does work for me when it comes to coping with these moments is going for a run.

I remember one summer when I just wasn’t feeling great about anything in life. I had just graduated high school and wasn’t sure if I was going to college, I was the heaviest I’d ever been, and I was in a less than ideal relationship. I was discouraged with where my life was heading, and I just didn’t feel confident about anything. So I started to run. There was a park that I enjoyed going to and I decided to just start jogging around it every day. In three months time, I lost 40 pounds, I got a job, and although my relationship was still shaky, I did end up applying for, and attending, Aims Community College.

“Everything felt lighter”

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When I was running I just felt free. It put my mind at ease, and I felt like I could breathe so much easier. My burdens no longer felt so heavy, in fact, everything felt lighter, and I assure you it will do the same for you. 

I strongly encourage that if you hate running, don’t do it on a treadmill; You’ll find yourself burning out fast by looking down and checking the timer every 2 minutes. Instead, the trick is to find a park you enjoy going to. A lot of these parks have the walkway path distance labeled. It’s a lot easier to go from point A to point B than it is to run stationary for 30 minutes. But at least try and set a goal for a certain distance, start at one mile and then gradually increase the miles each week. A great playlist on your smartphone can also do wonders for your mental state while you run! 

Give running a try if you’re finding yourself unsure of what your next step in life is; it should help you find some clarity.

You never know who's watching

Sometimes you don’t know who’s watching and the impact your good habits may have on that person’s perception of you  

I am a former manager of a multi-million dollar restaurant. My title was Service Manager. Every year we would have a conference for all the service managers in our market and we’d be flown out to another state where our conference would be held, and we’d spend a couple days in meetings and networking with others from our industry. When the meetings were over we’d get some leisure time and do anything from golfing to white water rafting, all paid for by the company; They took really good care of us. A few years back our market promoted a new ‘Market Partner’, so that specific weekend was set-up as one to get to know him a little more. The Market Partner’s job is to overlook all the restaurants in their area. He was the boss of my boss. 

You’re probably wondering where I'm going with this. Well, Like I had done on numerous occasions at these retreats, I got up early one morning, it was about 5:30 A.M. and went to the hotel’s gym, I jumped on the treadmill and I started running. Unbeknown to me, our new Market Partner had also gotten up a little early to get some work done, and as he walked by the lobby he saw me in the gym running. Well when I got back to my home store after the conference, that was one of the first things that my boss brought up to me. He told me his boss had gotten up and was impressed with me that morning. I hadn't thought much of the fact that he had sat next to me at dinner on the last night of our conference, but I was now finding out that that was purposeful on his part. He wanted to find out what I was all about, after seeing me that morning.  

“I saw this guy running that morning, and I said to myself, that tells me a lot about that guy”

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Pat, the Market Partner, often brings this story up when I see him, and he especially brings this up whenever higher-ups come to visit our store. One thing he’d tell me and others about that moment he saw me is this “I saw this guy running that morning and I said to myself, that tells me a lot about that guy”. My point is you never know who may be watching, and the good that will come out of exercising regularly. I no longer work for that company, but the great relationship I built with him was derived from that moment. Not everyone will be fortunate enough to run into their “Market Partner” to make a good impression, but for some, maybe you’ll make an impression on a complete stranger who offers you the job of your dreams because they’ve seen the drive you have at taking care of yourself! You never know the impact you may be having on someone.  

The Benefits of Exercise to Your Daily Routine

Exercise has a myriad of benefits it provides to us physically, but it can also be a tool to help you cope in other areas of your life

I daresay most of us are aware of the benefits of exercise. If you play sports you need to consistently spend time in the gym to stay in shape and conditioned for the next big game. Do you want to fit into that old pair of pants that you used to love, but they’re just a little snug now? Let’s not forget to mention that there is something very attractive about the person who does take time to take care of themselves. Did you know, however, that there is so much more that exercise can do for you mentally?! I know for me it’s helped me with work and with school and I’m about to tell you how.

“Working out early in the morning actually gave me more energy throughout the day”

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I’m not a morning person. I used to wake up at noon, get some chores done, head to work and repeat. One day I had a friend invite me to a bootcamp class at 5:00 A.M. and that forever changed my life. I found that getting a workout in, early in the morning, actually gave me more energy throughout the rest of the day; I kid you not! I think for me it gave me a sense of pride that helped me walk with my head high for the rest of the day. But you don’t need to take my word for it, according to Mayoclinic.org  “Exercise delivers oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and helps your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. And when your heart and lung health improve, you have more energy to tackle daily chores”. Getting an early workout helped me be much more productive on days I needed to be to work at 7:00 A.M.

I also can’t tell you how tough it is for me to stay stationary when studying and reading my textbooks for class. So what did I do? I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I began to listen to my lectures while I lifted weights. I could have been listening to music like many people do, but I wanted to consolidate certain parts of my life. Afterall, part of finding balance in life is looking for the areas in your life you can try to simplify to feel more stable. Other than listening to lectures while lifting, I also read my textbooks while doing the elliptical.

 

You’ll sleep much more soundly when you exercise daily as well. There are nights when I have a lot running through my head, and I can’t seem to get the thoughts out so I’ll go back to the gym or I’ll drive somewhere and go for a run. Running can really help you find clarity, peace and serenity, and it gives you one more chance to plug your headphones in and listen to that lecture on physics. 

Here’s a really fun part about working out. We all love great foods! But with age, we’re not going to be able to maintain a healthy weight eating anything we want, compared to when we were younger. Exercising daily gives you the opportunity to treat yourself a little more often and still stay fit. But be warned, you will probably find yourself hungrier than usual with all the calories you’ll be burning, working out; just ask Alexa Tucker who writes for Self.com “If you're suddenly ravenous after starting a new workout routine, it's not all in your head—since you're burning more calories than your body's used to, it might be looking to refuel.”

Exercise should be a weekly, if not a daily routine, that you ought to integrate into your life. Treat this as a ‘must’ and not a ‘should’, and I assure you your life will feel much more fulfilled.

Why you should work in a restaurant

I wish everyone could work in a restaurant at least once in their lives. There are several ways that working at one of these places will enhance your life. The years that I got to spend working at one were truly some of the best of my life, and the skills that were acquired there are incomparable.

One of those skills was teamwork. You really have to trust and depend on your fellow co-workers to do their part to ensure that your guests get the best service possible. You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been to a restaurant, and it’s not always the same person that greets you at the front door that takes your drink orders, refills your beverages and drops off your appetizers and food. There are so many moving parts at one time, and everyone has to do their part to make sure those gears keep turning.

A sense of urgency and punctuality were also skills that grew stronger for me during my time there. You can’t be late! No matter what, those doors open up at the same time every day, and if you’re not there that doesn’t mean that that guest is not going to walk in and want their food. Being on time was critical! A sense of urgency is also a ‘must’ if you’re a server. Returning with a refill, or getting a guest’s steak sauce to them with speed is only going to help you make more money. You’re working off tips here. 

Finally, restaurants will teach you something no school can, and that is people skills. Heck, even if you’re going to go into something that involves as minimal people interaction as possible, you’re still going to have to have some people skills in order to get the job. being forced to deal with happy, sad, angry, joyful and irate guests when I was a bartender gave me valuable lessons that you simply can’t replicate in a classroom.   

 

Get a job while you're in school

Don’t focus solely on school. You heard that, right?! That last sentence was a question and a statement! It is integral that you do something else while you spend countless hours in the library, and you really should be spending time in the library, but one of the best things you can do for yourself is get a job. There are so many benefits to having a job while you’re in school. In this post I'll share with you how my job came to be, and how it helped my education.

In high school I worked for a superstore like Wal-Mart. My job consisted of pushing carts all day and bringing them back into the store. It was about as much fun as it sounds. So I was not eager to get a new job right before college started. Like many of you, I had this mindset of “I’m finally an adult and I’m going to have some freedom. I don’t wanna work” My freedom that summer meant sitting on my couch all day and playing video games. But, I had recently had a conversation with a friend, and in passing, I may have stated how I needed a job. There was no sustenance behind that statement. It was just small talk, and the next thing I knew she was giving me a call letting me know a busser was fired, and they needed a replacement ASAP! I showed up, interviewed, and got the job. It was, and still is, one of the best decisions of my life. 

A study done back in 2017 showed that 45% of full-time college students have a job. That’s almost half of us! In this study, Dr. Laura Pern found that students who do work are more likely to succeed than students who don’t. I have been a full-time manager at the restaurant I started bussing at, these past two years while I’ve finished my undergrad, and one of the ways it’s helped me is it’s guided me in structuring my day. When I have the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want, I’m less likely to find time to study, because I’ll tell myself “I can do that later today.” Knowing that I have to be at work by 5:00 on a certain night forces me to study and get homework done between 3-5 when my classes are done for the day. 

Another reason it helped me pertaining to school, was the number of people I worked with who were also attending UNC that I could use as helpful references. I would run into people in my classes who were my co-workers, often. As you can imagine it’s a lot easier to start a conversation and ask for help with an assignment when it’s someone you already know, even if just a little, more than a complete stranger. 

Here is how my day was structured for the past 2 years. I would wake up at 5:00, go to the gym, I’d be back home by seven fifteen-ish, stare at myself in the mirror for about 10 minutes, get ready, I would get to class by 9:00, sit through my classes, study, and then be to work anytime between 4-6. I highly recommend getting a job at a restaurant while you’re in school, and I’ll talk about why in a later blog. 

Remember this is me working full-time, most of you will only have a part-time job that schedules you 15-20 hours, if that. Obviously, money is the main reason you would want a job, and textbooks aren’t cheap! There are also many more benign reasons to work while you school, so feel free to ask about them in the comments below! 

References

Patrick Henry College. (2017). Retrieved from  https://www.phc.edu/learnphc/083017-should-i-get-a-job-while-in-college

Some more about me... so you can understand me

I think it’s crucial that I let you know a little bit more about myself before I proceed. I’m not doing this to boast. But I realize I need some credibility before I can expect you to openly welcome my advice on how to remain successful having a job while spending countless hours in your textbooks, which will be the topic that I discuss later this week. I got my associate’s degree back in 2011, and at the time that was good enough for me. My boss had just recently offered me the position of assistant service manager at the restaurant I was bartending at, and it came with adequate pay and great benefits. I took the job and decided that I was done with school. Two years ago I had an epiphany and decided I wanted to go back to school. 

I applied for the University of Northern Colorado and was accepted. I brought along my 3.40 GPA from Aims Community College and got started. I mention my GPA because I want you to know that as it stands today, since I started this journey back in 2018, I have been a straight ‘A’ student, I was awarded by the College of Humanities and Social Sciences for Excellence in Communication Studies, I was accepted into Lambda Pi Eta- The National Communication Honor Society, and if all goes well this final semester, I should graduate Summa Cum Laude if I can maintain or raise my current 3.98 GPA. This is all after being out of school for almost eight years! I hope this helps when determining whether or not my posts have some strong footing. 

I want to conclude this by letting you know that growing up I was never top of the class academically. I’ve just learned to work hard and apply myself. Anyone is capable of achieving what I’ve accomplished if they too, work hard and apply themselves.